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Writing

Triggers…

What are those things that trigger family memories for you?  I can’t help but think of my father each time I make eggs.  I lived with my dad about 15 months during my high school years.  This was a very hard time in my life.  I was trying to find myself and get to know my father, while at the same time trying to fit into a family that I didn’t really belong in.  My step-mother was about 20 years younger than my father and she had two young daughters.  It was not a part of her plan to be a mother to a teenager.  She treated me poorly and I know my father felt torn between keeping a wife happy and trying to love his daughter.  In the end, he was given a choice…me or her.  I remember clearly that day, my step-mom and her girls had left to go to California for a few weeks after giving my dad the ultimatum.  I was making my dad breakfast, which I did regularly.  I made his favorite, he could eat eggs and toast and a cup of black coffee every single morning.  Just as I brought him his breakfast he sat there and put his face in his hands and began to cry.  As he tried to explain, I told him I understood and I didn’t want him to be put in that position and that it would be better if I left since he had a new family.  Our relationship after that point was never the same.  I left… he stayed with her.  He raised her daughters and when the youngest graduated from high school she left him.  I felt sorry for my dad, but I was now married, and even though he came down a few times to visit, it was never the same.

 

Fried eggs…I always think of my dad and remember the sad choice my father was forced to make.  On a good note, he eventually married a wonderful woman who took such good care of him until the day he died…nearly two years ago.  photo (17)

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Tammy L. Coia is an AWA Affiliate, certified to lead workshops in the AWA method as described in Writing Alone & With Others by Pat Schneider, Oxford University Press.


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