Picking up the pieces…

If you are my FB friend you already probably know what I am about to tell you.  I just came back from spending the day at an Opthamology Specialist in Upland yesterday with my sweet angel, Courtney.  I happened to notice a few days ago that she wasn’t tracking things with her eyes.  And then yesterday morning she bumped into a few things and on her morning walk she seemed confused and disoriented.  A local vet checked her and told me that she thinks she has a condition called SARDS.  Which stands for Sudden Acquired Retinal Degeneration.  The effects can happen within a few hours and she suggested I take Courtney to the nearest specialist which was in Upland (nearly 100 miles away). 

The vet in the desert felt like she was completely blind in the right eye and partial vision in her left eye.  After arriving at the specialist I had to let them keep her for a few hours to run the tests.  The vet came out and confirmed that she did indeed have SARDS and that unfortunately was completely blind in both eyes.  As I listened to this sad news the tears ran down my cheeks as I realized my baby girl was never going to be the same.

I have cried so much since the diagnosis, but I also realize that I am one of the lucky pet owners.  I am not carrying her home in a box,  I still have her little warm body.  Her eyes were always so expressive and now they just stare ahead.  My friend Melanie found the sight which I have been reading over.   On the site it expresses that blindness in pets is often harder on the humans than the pets.  I can relate to that. 

As I struggle with sadness it helps when I go to my journal and write my feelings.  I have to learn to take care of Courtney differently now.  Life has a way of keeping us on our toes.  I am grateful I still have my dog because I know when the day comes that she is no longer with me the sadness that will come to me is something I know I am not prepared for.  I will keep you posted on how Courtney is doing.  As for now, I am picking up the pieces of my heart which feels like it got broken into pieces today.

1 Comment to “Picking up the pieces…”

  1. Dear Tammy, Very Sorry hearing this. My prayers and thoughts are with you. Love & Hugs, Kathy

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Tammy L. Coia is an AWA Affiliate, certified to lead workshops in the AWA method as described in Writing Alone & With Others by Pat Schneider, Oxford University Press.

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