subscribe

Writing

Mondays with Melitas – October 8, 2012

WEEK TWO FOR EXPERIMENTS

 

            Last week we talked about those ants all over the malaluca tree and  how the corn meal took care of the situation for good.  This had happened several years back, and it took about a week before I could blow the “all clear” horn.  I had to watch for reserves trying to establish their freeway again.  I found them marching across the patio trying to make it to the tree, so out came the box of corn meal, then they thought to try and outsmart me with another route —- but you can’t fool this old broad —- they were gathering the troops at a hole in the wall about 50 feet away from the tree.  But, once again,  I foiled them, and they hoisted a little, weeny white flag  of surrender, never to return to that tree.

            So be sure to always have corn meal on the ready,  and don’t be using it to whip up some corn bread —- it would turn out lousy, and you would have to waste a lot of butter, and maybe some jam, trying to make it taste half-way decent.

            Then about 2 years ago, those same ants found my shower on the west side of the house, and thought they would get even with me.  They were plenty smart because they knew my corn meal attack would end in messy mush.  These smart-asses were from the very same nest on the other side of the wall where I couldn’t get to.  But never fear, somewhere in my meanderings around this planet, I had heard of another mixture to stop the ant brigade.  I had to rummage around to find an empty spray bottle, and  almost fill it with plain tap water.  You then add a couple of teaspoons-full of liquid soap,  and spray away to your heart’s content.  Your little rascal visitors will soon be gone.  Just because they were in my shower didn’t mean  they wanted to take one even if the soap was furnished free of charge.

            If any of my ants want to get into your cupboards, there is an experiment you could try.  I understand these little visitors absolutely hate peppermint, so what you do is find a cotton ball (I think I would find several) and soak with oil of peppermint — then place in the cupboard.  Let me know how this turns out if you have to get into the  World War on Ants.

            Just a short time after the confrontation in my shower stall, different visitors showed up  — in the shower, in my wash basin, and some around the kitchen sink.  At first I thought they might be babies of those regular- sized ants, but I’ll never know.  Even the pest guy didn’t know.  He should still pay attention about eradicating those ants with the corn meal.  In my 40 years in the desert, I had never run across this sort of ant.  So very, very small, and the feet and legs don’t show so you really don’t know how they get around to create all this havoc.  Those regular guys must’ve sent the new ones, figuring that since they are so small, and because I am in my 90’s that I wouldn’t be able to see them. 

            I saw them alright, and at least they didn’t travel in astronomical numbers.  There would be only a few:  like 3, 4, or 5.  I would zap them with the soapy concoction, and they would curl up and croak.  They were too small for me to tell if they had really curled up.  First ones to leave for good were at the kitchen sink, next in the shower, but the ones around my wash basin really hung on for several months.  They would come out from in back of the big mirror over the sink.  I would give a squirt or two, leave, but when I returned there would always be  4 or 5 of them.  I placed a small bar of soap on the counter where they would skitter down to, and that helped a bit, but not enough to have them vacate the premises.

            It was getting awfully tiresome, squirting 2 or 3 times a day, and I was beginning to get peeved to think it was a failing endeavor;  but quite by accident I recalled something I had heard that does all kinds of chores and nice things for the human race — besides getting a person loaded.  IT’S GOOD OLD VODKA!  Yes, hurry on down to the liquor department, and since the little creatures will not know if it Greygoose (expensive) or Popov (cheap) get the cheapest you can find.  I had to run around the house to find a squirt bottle,  fill it with some very cheap Vodka, and then the war began in earnest.  At first, those interlopers were reacting as though it was still the wonder soap, and I figured they were enjoying a nice cocktail.  I never served them  an olive or lemon twist.

            This may turn you off of your favorite Vodka Martini, or Vodka and Tonic.  I am happy that Tequila on the rocks, salted rim, and squeeze of Mexican Lime happens to be my beloved cocktail of choice.  It didn’t bother me a bit spritzing the Vodka, especially since it was cheep, cheep, cheep.

            It’s now over 2 weeks since my “friends” have ventured out. I figure they had a blast and woke up with hangovers to end all hangovers.  Then, when they sobered up enough, they thought it was best to move on somewhere else out of my space because what would I have in store for them the next time around?

            And you wanna know something else?  Miss Priss Warden never had ONE of these little creatures go near her shower or wash basin because I think they were very aware of the fact that she constantly carries around these itty-bitty handcuffs — EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY, JUST IN CASE —- 

            More help will be on the way again next week.  I haven’t even begun to tell you all the wonderful things you can do with Vodka, and you don’t even have to drink it.

 

 

MELITAS FORSTER

MONDAYS WITH MELITAS

OCT. 08,2012                                                                                            

 

4 Comments to “Mondays with Melitas – October 8, 2012”

  1. Thanks Meli..it solved the problem for me and other friends in Palm Springs with that pesky problem…Now, how can I get rid of crickets?

  2. Tried it today in my garbage dumpsters…They are drunk as a skunk – problem solved!

  3. Wonderful, Melitas.

  4. I wonder if the invaders prefer shaken or stirred? Another funny piece from wonder woman Melitas.

Leave a Reply

"Because of Tammy I have found confidence in my writing and feel blessed to be honored in such a way. I have found my voice. I have found freedom! I recommend anyone for whatever reason to expand their life and sign up for her writing workshops or classes. You'll be amazed at how good you are and how everyone has a story worth telling. Sign up and set your voice free!"
Wendy Price, Palm Desert, CA

Read More: Writing Teacher Reviews

Amherst Writers & Artists

Tammy L. Coia is an AWA Affiliate, certified to lead workshops in the AWA method as described in Writing Alone & With Others by Pat Schneider, Oxford University Press.


International Directory of Writing Workshops