WHO WOULDA THUNK IT?
APRIL 9, 2012
A sorta PROLOGUE, sorta. If you would like to get up to speed for the following scenario, please go to Aug. 22, 2011, then to Mar. 5 and Mar. 12, 2012 — those 3 sagas will bring you up to the following:
Who Woulda Thunk It? Least of all, me. I’ll never know what hit me. I was sucker-punched, blind-sided — and I am still reeling. I haven’t mentioned about cancelling my trip on March 14th to the dentist due to the fact that I was a little under the weather from the Bout with the Gout. It was just 4 or 5 days ago (in April) when I finally dragged myself in there. I was feeling quite cocky to imagine that the dental crew might not even notice that Old 86 had gone the way of all flesh, but had been such a great trouper lasting 2½ years longer than Dr. Mohler wished it to. I clamored into the dental chair, really a bit excited, and who in the world gets excited about getting into that chair of torture? As for me, there is always great trepidation wondering what surprises are lurking there in my jaws where the toothies grow (some are long gone) so that I am able to chew the food to keep me alive and healthy. Hygienist Delilah secured the dental bib over my bazooms to keep accidents from getting all over the nice ensemble I wear to the dentist. I then opened my mouth as wide as possible, and asked Delilah, “Do you notice anything?” She said, “No, why?” “Well, don’t you see —-? Old ’86 has gone to its maker, gone missing a month ago?” She said, “No, your ’86 is still there,” and with that she tapped a LOWER back tooth. I loudly said, “No! don’t you see the empty spot up here?” as I pointed to the empty space. Well, she still was adamant — and I was still adamant. She then grabbed an x-ray to show me, and there in very plain sight, was a lower back tooth marked ’86. So I asked “So why is that space up there?” Delilah answered very tritely, “It’s been there for quite some time.” What could I do at this juncture? I just laid back and let her pick away at those soldiers that are still hanging in there. I felt like I had egg on my face. On the other side of the coin, it turned out to be a pleasant hour because we did not need to see Dr. Mohler. I will probably run into him at the next “séance” because the x-ray’s will be having their turn, and you know what that means! — a higher cost for the visit with x-rays, and possibly a few choice words thrown in like “if it ain’t broke ——.” I honestly do not remember a blank space where there is now a blank space that I thought was not a blank space all this time. Now that this has happened — and what a shocker it has been to my delicate psyche — it’s a wake up call for me to be more alert and observant. Driving home being very alert and very observant trying to stay out of the way of all those “snowbirds” who are supposed to cause so much road rage for the locals, I got to thinking that this rude awakening was not all that bad, after all, especially when I started to think about my old friend ’86. It’s as if I had taken a trip by auto to Maine to visit my ex- niece-in-law, Maxine, and had taken my little salt and pepper poodle, Salty Dog along and somehow she went missing ‘way up there in Maine. There was no finding her, and I was heavy-hearted, and I simply had to return home to Laguna Beach and tend to my bar business. I missed my Salty Dog so much, and mourned her absence— and then lo and behold that little rascal appeared at the front door with her paws all bloody, and she was so dehydrated, looking so dragged out (not just out of the poodle plucker’s salon all pretty as a picture) about a year later. So now I am thinking life is good once again. Ol’ 86 was only missing for a month and a half. Always look on the bright side, AND SHOW THOSE PEARLY-WHITES Epilogue: Salty Dog and I did not go on this trip. She passed at age 18, and is buried on a little ranch on Avenue 50 and Jefferson.