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Mondays with Melitas – September 1, 2014

NERVOUS                                                                         SEPTEMBER 1, 2014

 

The past couple of years, I have been experiencing an inordinate amount of nervousness — and it makes me nervous. I have been trying to outdo Humpty Dumpty in the Guinness Book of Records because you know how Humpty cracks up, well it was a first for me a year ago when I cracked the knee cap — finally something broke. And so it is not the best idea to be nervous because sure as the sun sets, and the sun rises, I will be ending up in some ER getting a CAT scam scan or an MRI looking for other injuries. Now I’m getting even more nervous writing this.

 

(Excuse me, while I go take a tranquilizer to calm down. If it weren’t just 2 o’clock, and closer to 4 o’clock — that’s means 5 in Phoenix, I would probably choose one of those salt-rimmed rock glasses —) No, no, not yet. You might tumble rushing to gather the ice.

 

Remember when I broke the knee cap a year ago? We were in San Juan Capistrano for the annual Old Timers’ Barbecue, and it’s down to me now being the Oldest Timer. Anyway, while changing at the motel, the luggage rack leg tripped me, and I went down for the count, Alba got me from horizontal to upright, and we went on over to Anita Forster’s. I am mopping up the skinned knees, and the bloodied forehead, and everyone decides I have to get to ER, and it took about 5 of them to see to it that I made it there. Now, it gets funny and silly, and I am all hurty. RJ, 16 years old, is the driver — he’s Anita’s grandson, my nephew 3rd removed, or what ever you call it. We somehow are in the Laguna Beach Hospital, and it has been 50 years since I was last there — in Emergency — and they have a huge facility now. I think they were getting ready in case I moved back to Laguna. They first hauled me off for the CAT scam scan and MRI, then laid me out for the wound lady doctor to take care of the scrapes. That’s when all hell broke loose. Everyone in the place was coming over to see what all the laughter was about. The curtain was finally left open so it wouldn’t wear out. The doctor was having a time of trying to care for the wounds between breaking up with laughter and trying to tell her assistant what to do. All I did was crack jokes to forget about all the pain. (It wasn’t even hurting.)

 

By bringing up this tale, I have made myself all nervous again. That tells me to get off this kick. And pictured is the main reason everyone was in hysterics. My attire for the evening happened to be the T-shirt.

 

 

MELITAS FORSTER                                                       MONDAYS WITH MELITAS

 

The latest fashionable attire to wear to the ER

The latest fashionable attire to wear to the ER

8 Comments to “Mondays with Melitas – September 1, 2014”

  1. Melitas…..you are a hoot! I love your writing.
    You are one unique human being and I love you.
    Leave the word nervous in the dictionary.

  2. Great’story’………love the CAT scam/scan.
    Thoroughly enjoyed our 3 hours at CPK. That could have gone on for hours! Wish you could be here for Desert League on the 14th.

  3. MELITAS,

    HAD TO GET SOME LUGGAGE DOWN FROM A HIGH SHELF. I COULDN’T BELIEVE THAT I NEED TO LEAN ON MARY’S SHOULDER. SHIT– I KNOW I’M NO WHERE NEAR YOUR AGE BUT IT SURE FELT WEIRD.

    ANOTHER OF MARY’S SISTERS DIED. OUT OF 9 SIBLINGS, THERE ARE ONLT 3 LEFT. IT SEAMS AS IF EVERY YEAR
    ANOTHER ONE GOES.

    GOTTA GO. HOPE YOU ARE ALRIGHT.

    JOAN

  4. This still doesn’t top our trip to the ER for the cut on your noggin. You made the ER room look like comedy central. Thank God we made it home with the corned beef and cabbage for dinner the next day! I’ll never ever forget that night. Love, Marcie

  5. Dear Mena,

    The tee shirt you wore to the ER was the perfect shirt to relax everyone. You are just great to be around.

    Stop being nervous.

    I love you,
    Maxine

  6. dont try that stunt again…it messes up ypur beauty

  7. Melitas…Keep cranking out your stories. Every week so different and so much fun. It is difficult to read your stories to someone else because I am laughing so much. Love ya, Lynn

  8. Hi Melitas,I am all caught up with your stories. I imagined you did crack them up in ER with your T-shirt. All that laughing does help with the pain. I like dogs also. I haven’t had one in many years. Maybe someday. Take care and you will be missed at Desert League.

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Tammy L. Coia is an AWA Affiliate, certified to lead workshops in the AWA method as described in Writing Alone & With Others by Pat Schneider, Oxford University Press.


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