Looking back…a year later…

I was wondering when my sweet little Courtney went blind and I knew it was coming up.  It was a year ago on the 15th of this month that my little girl was diagnosed with SARDS.  As I recall that day, I can go back in my mind and feel exactly what I felt as I drove home with her from the eye specialist.  As we drove home together I could hardly see the road because the tears were falling from my eyes .  I felt myself gasping for air as I felt I could barely breathe.  My heart broke for my sweet girl. 

Courtney lay in her bed next to me while I drove home.  I began to speak aloud to her that we would get through this and that I would always take care of her. 

The diagnosis that I was afraid to here was confirmed and I knew that our lives would never be the same.  Coming home was sad as I now watched her bump into furniture and she became scared and timid.  Her little forehead seemed to have a worried look on it.  For the next few months she was not herself.  She became depressed and seemed to not care any more. 

Our daily walks became a chore.  I now had to watch carefully when we came to a curb and tell her to up or down.  I began to worry about her as we lived in a fairly large house.

I spent the next month trying to locate a smaller space for us to move into and in the next 5 weeks we moved to a cute smaller place in Palm Springs. 

Watching her navigate her now dark world was hard for me to witness. 

It has been a whole year now and I am so proud of Courtney.  The first few months were rough but she has done so well.  She knows her home very well and she even goes and spends time with her best friend Gracie at her house.  She even goes in and out of Gracies doggie door with no problems.

A year ago, my heart was hurting.  Now looking back I can still feel my heartache, but I can say that Courtney has adjusted to life without sight.

Writing and remembering is an important part of our growth.  What do you need to write and remember?

3 Comments to “Looking back…a year later…”

  1. Nice piece about courage in action.

  2. This made me cry. I know how precious she is to you. It breaks my heart that you both had to experience such a terrible disease. You are both fortunate to have each other in your lives. You’ve done nothing but the best for her and she knows that and loves you for it. I felt so bad when I first heard the news, but after seeing how well she gets around I realized she’ll be ok. Hugs sis!

  3. Wish we could adjust to big changes as well as our critters do. They’re pretty resilient, aren’t they. I’m glad Courtney got through it so well. From the looks of things, you’re doing very well now too. I’m so happy for you.

    Peace and continued good things for you and Courtney, Tammy.


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Tammy L. Coia is an AWA Affiliate, certified to lead workshops in the AWA method as described in Writing Alone & With Others by Pat Schneider, Oxford University Press.

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