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My heartbreak…Courtney… August 10, 2000 – July 5, 2014

cdog memorial last dayToday was a day I thought I had prepared my heart for, but one never can.  My sweet Doxie passed away in my arms this morning.  She lived to nearly 14 years old and even though the last 3 years she was blind and then later deaf, she was my girl.  This morning, even though she was in pain kissed me all over my face.  I knew she was telling me that it was ok and that she was ready to go.  Here is a piece I wrote not too long ago that I think would be appropriate to share today…

 

I have been watching her closely via the privacy of facebook.  Another one of my many connections that I don’t quite know how we first connected.  I believe she’s a writer, but even that I’m unsure of.  What I do know is that she has two dogs.  Several months ago I read a simple post she posted: Pray for Liza, she is getting old and something is wrong.  During the next few days she would post updates…”she seems better today, todays rough, won’t eat, happy today! sleeping a lot today, she’s gone…I can’t breathe.”

I reached out to her in cyber space offering my condolences.  I feel for her because I know someday those will be my words.  I watch and observe how she teaches me how to grieve for some day I will feel that pain.

Some days are better than others she says but often the days are hard.  I see her heart has been broken and I know some day I will have to walk that path alone carrying nothing but her collar.

 

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2 Comments to “My heartbreak…Courtney… August 10, 2000 – July 5, 2014”

  1. You are really honoring her life. She will live in your heart forever. We are learning how to be more humane to all life forms by your words and examples. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. We feel your pain. Hang in there.

  2. Courtney’s longevity is indicative of the excellent care and loving you provided her.
    When I die I want to reincarnate as a Courtney and have you as my mommy.
    You did an excellent job and you have so many wonderful memories of her. We are sharing your grief.

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Tammy L. Coia is an AWA Affiliate, certified to lead workshops in the AWA method as described in Writing Alone & With Others by Pat Schneider, Oxford University Press.


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