I have heard it said that it is not what you say but how you say it that matters most. If we take the time to get in touch with the emotional charge (energy) that lies behind our thoughts before they become words, putting ourselves in the other’s shoes, what comes out is spoken in loving-kindness, even if it is not pleasant to say or hear. It’s not so much about seeking and finding agreement with the other as it is about creating the space to simply know we have been heard. This allows us to be highly committed to our communication, with a low attachment to winning or losing the issue at hand. I am convinced that we can say just about anything to anybody if it is said with genuine loving-kindness and compassion, with a skillfullness that does not include an agenda to hurt or inflict pain but to simply communicate. In Deepak Chopra’s book, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success he talks in chapter one about our thoughts and not having judgement. He says, “Judegment is the constant evaluation of things as right or wrong, good or bad. When you are constantly evaluating, classifying, labeling, analyzing, you create a lot of turbulence in your internal dialogue. This turbulence constricts the flow of energy between you and the field of pure potentiality. You literally squeeze the “gap” between thoughts.” Remember it is our thoughts from which our communication stems from. Take some time today to consider your communication. Let our words be a reflection of what we have inside our hearts and minds. Take the time to write someone a letter and communicate to them how much you appreciate them. Secondly, watch your thoughts and words today…practice mindfulness!
- Online Writing Club