A Letter to Doggie Heaven

Courtney Coia

Doggie Heaven

Cloud 1


Dear Courtney,                                                                                                 September 3, 2015

I turned 5 a few weeks ago so mama said I am old enough to learn how to write. I wanted my first letter to be to you. I know it has been over a year since you went to Rainbow Bridge and I keep waiting to see if you will write us a letter but mama says you are busy over there. She told me that when you crossed over the bridge that you could see and hear again and that you were running and playing all day and that you were too busy to write us. But mama finds the feathers you leave for her. Each time I look up at mama as she bends down to pick them up. I see that her eyes get all teary as she holds it to her heart.

I was just thinking the other day while we were walking the beach that you would really love this place we live now, it is called Baja. Mama takes me for walks on the beach in the morning as the sun is rising and in the evening as the sun is setting. Mama talks a lot about you on these walks. She tells me things I never knew about you. She told me you used to love to run the beaches in California when you were younger and that you would even run and bark at people like I sometimes do!

Today on the beach just as the sun was rising, mama cried. I think she was thinking of you. I can see it in her eyes. She usually picks me up and hugs me when she is thinking of you and I do my best to kiss her face, and I know she loves me, but I know I can never fill the hole in her heart that you left when you crossed the bridge.

Mama has your ashes next to our Shabbat candles and as she lights them each Friday night she pats your box and I know she wishes you were here with us. Your picture is on the refrigerator so she can see you each day she goes into the kitchen.

I wish I could have known you when you were younger, I know I only got a year to live with you and by that time you were already deaf and blind, but I still remember our talks late at night. I want you to know that I have kept my promise. I watch over mama very carefully. I am never far from her side, I just wish I could talk to her in a language she would understand.

Mama likes to go to a restaurant here called La Picazon, but I am thinking it is not so much because of the food, although the food is delicious. The owners have two dogs that look like you. One is red and one is black. She holds them when she goes and hugs them. I have a feeling she thinks of you when she does. The interesting thing is that I am not jealous. I know and understand that mama always had enough love for the both of us. I know that mama loves me in a different way from you and love is love.

I bet you would be happy to learn you became an aunt, and it was on my birthday! Our brother Kurt and Jessica now have a little girl named Harmony and I get to go meet her soon. Mama told me you always loved babies. I will try to be good and I will try to make you proud of me.

I know as a little brother I wasn’t always nice. Part of it was that I was scared mama was going to take me back to the shelter and I wanted to stay with you. So when I acted out it was just because I didn’t know how to behave after all those years of living in the shelter. I do think you would be proud of me now.

I hope you are having fun up at the rainbow bridge. Mama still talks to you every day, but I think you know that. I will keep protecting mama and doing the best I can to fill your shoes.

Love, your kid brother, Bruce

Bruce and mama aug 31 2015bruce sunglassesIMG_2838jewish mom pic

3 Comments to “A Letter to Doggie Heaven”

  1. A must read by Baja Bruce.. He touched my heart and filled it with love and tears.. It took me longer then normal to read between wiping my tears and blowing my nose. Not a pretty site..I know Courtney is in doggie heaven telling everyone all about her little brother Baja Bruce💕

  2. Oh Bruce, Your blog gave me those leaky eyes! Memories are the best

  3. Hi Courtney! We miss you here on earth but we are happy to know that you are having a ball up in Doggie Heaven – Enjoying your regained eye sight and hearing loss. You are so smart and you always amazed us with the things that you would do when you stayed with us in Casa Agave. Remember when your mom left Melitas in charge of you while she went to her appointments?…she left instructions to feed you promptly at 4:00 p.m. But 4:00 p.m. came and went..Melitas was so busy typing away on her computer that she forgot to feed you. You got so hungry that you decided to go get your plastic bowl that was on the kitchen floor, you picked it up with your mouth promptly took it over to her – you finally got fed!

    That is only one of the many stories we have of you..and we really do miss you. You were really loved by so many people because you were so special.

    Your mom is doing good but wishes that you were with her in Loreto because she knows that you would just love it there by the Sea of Cortez. You go on with your happy life because brother Bruce is looking out after her for you.

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Tammy L. Coia is an AWA Affiliate, certified to lead workshops in the AWA method as described in Writing Alone & With Others by Pat Schneider, Oxford University Press.

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