One of the great things about women is our need to connect with other women. On Monday I spent a full day traveling out to Temecula with some of my closest friends. We talked, we laughed and we shared and of course we drank wine. The beauty of our friendship is that we enjoy being in the company of each other. As I examined this picture that was taken by a random man drinking champagne, I was struck by the fact that as you look at this picture we are all touching each other! We all connected. Our connections with our friends can take place in a variety of ways. Maybe you connect with your friends because you are in the same golf league, or you enjoy the same books or movies. Maybe your closest friends are your neighbors or your husbands are colleagues.
We meet our friends at various places and at various ages of our lives. I always look forward to connecting with the women in my life. I love meaningful conversations and the just play fun of hanging with those I love.
Today in your writing look at the connections you have with your friends. What are the different ways in which you connect. I was joking with Lynne on Monday and I told her that when she is looking for her “tribe” members she needs to make sure they like good food and wine! If you have not found your “tribe” yet, they are out there, probably looking for you, too!
Human beings look to other human beings for hints on how their own lives might turn out; that’s why we read books and watch TV and keep tabs with old friends on facebook and cry during romantic comedies.
“We can never know what to want,” Milan Kundera writes in The Unbearable Lightness of Being. “because, living only one life, we can neither compare it with our previous lives nor perfect it in our lives to come… we live everything as it comes, without warning, like an actor going on cold.” It’s that terror, perhaps, that endears us to observe and compare our lives to the lives of others (rather than to our untouchable past lives) in search of a cue, or a line, or at long last; a curtain call.
Who do you look to when you don’t know where to turn? As human beings we have examples all around us, some good, some not so good. Why do you seek out friendships with others? It is in the company of my friends that I can most be who I am. I am so very, very blessed to have the friends that I do. In this one life that you are living how do you know you are growing? I think one of the best tools for me are my journals. My journals take the shape of many forms. I have a computer journal, I have leather bound journals, I have spiral notebooks and even scraps of paper tucked here and there. It is as I look through the movement of my life I can see the changes and growth, and yet I can also see the periods of stagnation. Sometimes living life as it comes can be scary, but where do you choose to focus? See how others are doing it and get some good role models and live the best life you possibly can! Start with journaling about your thoughts about where you are right now in this life.
This morning I was thinking about all of the opportunities we have to make choices. Some of the choices we have may be easy, such as a simple selection of white or wheat, apple juice or orange juice, biking or hiking? But other choices life brings us are often harder. Yesterday I wrote about our friendships and sometimes with those friendships we have to choose when to savor and when to release. As I have been focusing on relationships and the friendships of my lifetime, there have been times that I think I may have let go of a friendship too soon and on the other hand held on to one that I should have released. Sometimes these choices can be a catalyst to change in our lives. In one of my session one classes I talk about what do you hold on to and what seems to hold on to you. That is a great question to think about, are there some decisions you need to make about releasing yourself from a situation or releasing someone who needs to move on? I have been very blessed to have so many close friends to at this time in my life. I call them high caliber friends as they tend to bring out the best in me. I can be myself and they support me and lift me up. BUT…I wouldn’t have these great friends if I would have held on to other relationships that didn’t serve me.
Today in your writing I want you to dive deep into your subconscious and think about the choices you have made regarding the friendships of your lifetime. When did you make a choice to change a friendship? Have there been times when the choice was made for you by circumstances in your life? Examine your friendships and see how you can be the best possible friend. Friends are like colors, some of my friends are a beautiful blue, some are a hot pink and others may be a calming beige. All my friends serve different purposes in my life and all are an essential part of what makes me uniquely me. Spend some time today checking out your friends and make the choice to be who you need to be and make sure your friends are worthy of YOU!
When I spend time writing in my journal and work on my memoir, the friendships of my life are often a topic. Whether I am focusing on my early childhood friends or the friends I have today it always makes me happy. I was writing the other day about a childhood friend and remembering that we used to love to eat pickles together. We loved pickles so much we would even drink the pickle juice! She was the youngest of her siblings, who were quite a bit older than her, so she had lots of toys. One of the things I loved about having her as a friend was that she had every barbie made, plus all the accessories. We didn’t have much in common, other than the pickles, but I wonder why I chose her to be my playmate. Could it have been my longing to play with all those barbies, since the closest thing I had was a Dusty doll?
Look at your friendships you have today. Why do you have the friends you have today? Did you meet at a club you both belonged to? Did you live in the same neighborhood? It is fun to write about our friendships and how they began. Spend some time this week writing about the friends in your life. Try to start back with your childhood, which friends do you particularly remember? Who did you hang out with in high school? When you began having children did you find other friends with young children as well? Which friends have you savored over the years? There is nothing more precious in our lives than our friends. Our friends keep us balanced and alive. Even Courtney loves hanging out with her friends, Peanut and Princess.
As a special bonus, make a phone call or write a letter to some of your special friends and tell them what your friendship has meant to you!
Awww, I love these ladies! This morning during my writing I began to write about the people we choose to surround us. I have been very, very fortunate in having many wonderful groups of women who not only become my friends, but also my sisters. As I have examined my choice of friendships throughout the years I have to say that I have managed to always have a great support system around me. The ladies in the picture with me are friends that I have known less than 3 years, but I count them as my sisters. A great writing exercise is to write about your friends from childhood through the present time. I have had many wonderful friendships and the older I get the deeper and more precious my friends are to me. Surround yourself with beautiful friends. To all the friends in my life, let me tell you I appreciate and honor each one of you. Thank you for being such an integral part in my growth as a woman.