“HOW THEY’VE GOTTEN THIS FAR” by TWO ELDER LOVELIES

DECEMBER 14, 2015

This past summer was just crawling along for me. Besides not walking too well, I was having to hit the road every once in awhile to go over to Emergency, then follow-up at the Wound Center for them to glue me back together. During this period, I was given orders to STAY home — orders from the Doctor, not the Warden, for a change. Sitting and laying around, there was not much to do because my brain was on a sabbatical. No blogs came to that mind, so just watching the news was what I did — The AOL, the TV, or the Newspaper (which I hate.)

Time was still going along, yes, lots of time, and the news was going on incessantly. One of these times, I picked up parts of a story about this old gal in one our southern States. It was hard for me to hear because of my lousy, expensive hearing aids (ear plugs,) but somehow I got the gist of her story, about what was contributing to her longevity. There she was plugging along at the age of 112, and it was all due to the fact that she ate SWEET POTATOES all her live-long days. She had them at breakfast, for lunch, and for supper. Not only that, she munched on them in the hours between meals. Whew! All her life, yet.

Several weeks later, I was just sitting around biding my time, and when the evening news came on, I was half-way listening with ear plugs, making like hearing aids. My good eyes were drawn to the screen, and there was the program interviewing some o-o-l-d woman trying to weasel it out of her about what has contributed to getting her to the grand old age of 116. The few words she spoke, you could bet she was from the South also like the 112 year old.

There she was in her “best” print dress predominantly in green hues, then a perky, dullish green felt hat, almost like a tam, with a flower-ish thing to one side. There was the interviewer, and then there was a woman to the side of the comfortable, over-stuffed chair our heroine was in. The standing lady had one arm around her shoulder and would translate the questions (English to English) from the interviewer. During questions, our friend’s head would fall to her left shoulder and with her eyes closed — to get a little shut eye. Her prompter obviously would give her the signal to act alert — head up eyes open. She would answer “Yes.” Then drop off again, eyes closed. Head on shoulder. This went on — all answers “Yes,” and by asking the right question it was pulled out of her “that her thing” that got her to 116 is BACON! — Yes Bacon. Bacon for breakfast, Bacon for lunch, Bacon for dinner and Bacon snacks all day long between meals. And between little naps. I did think that she looked a bit over weight — must have been the Bacon. Not only that it had to be only smoked Bacon, REAL Bacon. None of that Smoked Veggie Bacon. Ugh!

Now you have the recipe for living to a ripe old age. Take your pick, and stick to it. Somehow, living in the South may have something to do with living longer. I’m not about to move there.

If anyone ever asks me what I attribute to living to 97¾, I don’t know what I can say. It can’t be said it is because of Tequila for breakfast, lunch, dinner and sipping in between. You already know the old saying: “One Tequila, Two Tequila, Three Tequila, Floor.”

MELITAS FORSTER                                     MONDAYS WITH MELITAS