NERVOUS                                                                         SEPTEMBER 1, 2014


The past couple of years, I have been experiencing an inordinate amount of nervousness — and it makes me nervous. I have been trying to outdo Humpty Dumpty in the Guinness Book of Records because you know how Humpty cracks up, well it was a first for me a year ago when I cracked the knee cap — finally something broke. And so it is not the best idea to be nervous because sure as the sun sets, and the sun rises, I will be ending up in some ER getting a CAT scam scan or an MRI looking for other injuries. Now I’m getting even more nervous writing this.


(Excuse me, while I go take a tranquilizer to calm down. If it weren’t just 2 o’clock, and closer to 4 o’clock — that’s means 5 in Phoenix, I would probably choose one of those salt-rimmed rock glasses —) No, no, not yet. You might tumble rushing to gather the ice.


Remember when I broke the knee cap a year ago? We were in San Juan Capistrano for the annual Old Timers’ Barbecue, and it’s down to me now being the Oldest Timer. Anyway, while changing at the motel, the luggage rack leg tripped me, and I went down for the count, Alba got me from horizontal to upright, and we went on over to Anita Forster’s. I am mopping up the skinned knees, and the bloodied forehead, and everyone decides I have to get to ER, and it took about 5 of them to see to it that I made it there. Now, it gets funny and silly, and I am all hurty. RJ, 16 years old, is the driver — he’s Anita’s grandson, my nephew 3rd removed, or what ever you call it. We somehow are in the Laguna Beach Hospital, and it has been 50 years since I was last there — in Emergency — and they have a huge facility now. I think they were getting ready in case I moved back to Laguna. They first hauled me off for the CAT scam scan and MRI, then laid me out for the wound lady doctor to take care of the scrapes. That’s when all hell broke loose. Everyone in the place was coming over to see what all the laughter was about. The curtain was finally left open so it wouldn’t wear out. The doctor was having a time of trying to care for the wounds between breaking up with laughter and trying to tell her assistant what to do. All I did was crack jokes to forget about all the pain. (It wasn’t even hurting.)


By bringing up this tale, I have made myself all nervous again. That tells me to get off this kick. And pictured is the main reason everyone was in hysterics. My attire for the evening happened to be the T-shirt.



MELITAS FORSTER                                                       MONDAYS WITH MELITAS


The latest fashionable attire to wear to the ER

The latest fashionable attire to wear to the ER

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