LOST FOR WORDS (HO – HO – HO)                                     DECEMBER 22, 2014

Yes, this week I am at a loss for words. It’s all because Lynne and Karen came by for a little visit from Huntington Beach to check on me to see if I’m “with it,” or maybe I’m just wandering around in my own little world. I had a wonderful captive audience, and I regaled them with stories when I was 5 years old, 8 years old, and the one when I was 16 and talked my Aunt Mae into adding a huge room to her already huge home on the hill, and this party room had to have a 5-stool completely set-up bar, sink, back bar for the liquor, you know, the whole enchilada. I wanted to practice my skills for playing the part of a bartender.

I also related about the 2 guys at my Woods Cove Restaurant in Laguna Beach, and how they didn’t want to pay for one steak dinner because the one said it was not good. My waitress, Betty, had already asked me to watch them because the one was eating steak off the other guy’s plate. The check was presented. They were not paying for one, they said. I noted to myself the bake potato had been consumed, and what had happened with the cup of clam chowder, and the dinner salad? The parade began – I cut a bite of the steak – “Nothing wrong with that. Here, Betty you have a bite.” And then I went into the lounge for my 6’3” bartender, John, to take a bite. “UM, very good,” says John. I had Dean, the other bartender, call the police, so while we waited for them to arrive, big John was not about to let these 2 escape. One beeg policeman, Taco, arrived and he was invited to partake in the steak. Very okay with Taco, so he herded these 2 dudes into his Crown Vic and off to the City jail where they probably spent a very restless night. The next morning, Judge Cravath found them guilty of defrauding an innkeeper, gave them a hefty fine, and they had to pay the tab to the innkeeper. That’s me.

I won’t bring up anymore tales you may have already read.

You may say, “For crying out loud, there she is repeating herself, we don’t want to go through all that stuff again.” Yeah, I’d better get back to writing some new old stories. I still have plenty without repeating. Sorry about this. It’s also because I have been feeling a little puny. Maybe the Warden hasn’t been adding enough lentils to keep my strength up.

This is making me tired right now, so

Merry Christmas, also happy Hanukkah

MELITAS FORSTER                      MONDAYS WITH MELITAS