TUESDAYS OR WEDNESDAYS WITH MELITAS
APRIL 16 OR 17, 2013
I NEED A CHANGE
You know I always keep up with the latest news, and recently I read about this old lady who has made it to 101. She was questioned about how she has made it to this ripe old age; her answer was that she attributes this to the fact that she has 4 (four!) alcoholic drinks every day. Here is what’s been keeping her up on the green side: 2 glasses of red wine with her lunch, then a cocktail of Southern Comfort (ugh, eek, ach) at dinnertime, then a bottle of beer at bedtime.
Well, like Superman with the cape, I raced to find the Warden, and this is how the conversation went:
Me: “We’ve got to start doubling up on me!”
Warden: What are you raving about? Are you playing the Power Ball? And losing all the time? If that’s it, don’t waste your last few bucks because I would have to get a conservatorship to guard that pittance of yours. It’s hard enough for me to guard your earthly body.”
Me: “No, no, no, I’m trying to tell you about the old lady that just celebrated her 100 & oneth. She has 4 cocktails a day, so that means you will have to double my allowance of 2 Tequila on the rocks in salted glass and squeeze of lime a day, to 4 a day for me to catch up to her.”
I don’t know if this is going to work out with the Warden — it probably has about as much of a chance as that snowball in hell. At least I can give it a try — no harm in trying.
But right now I have to find a phone and call my old friend, Annie Lund, to give her the news. She is only 94 until October, so it will do her good to get started immediately. She would absolutely hate it if I were to keep this great news all to myself. I have been drinking this “Nopalea.” Juice for about a year, and failed to mention it to her. I am just now getting back in her good graces after I told her about it a month ago. It must be good for us because it is juice from the cactus, and you know where Tequila comes from. Anyway, there we are just guzzling away.
I think she is drinking 2/3 times what I take every day — just trying to catch up.