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Archive for October 20th, 2014

Mondays with Melitas – October 20, 2014

HOW TO GET A VACATION                                       OCTOBER 20, 2014

 

The countdown has begun around here for a vacation, and it’s the Warden taking some unauthorized time off. Her automatic Christmas vacation time is 2 months away, so it would seem she was becoming quite desperate trying to think of something to get out of here.

 

Doesn’t this sound like her? Except it’s under her breath so I won’t hear— she should know by now that I can’t even hear when I am wearing my expensive hearing aids — To herself, the Warden is saying: “Gotta get outa here — Queenie is driving me crazy, I am at my wit’s end, and the Pow Wow with family at Christmas time is a couple of months away — well, I’ll just go have a knee replacement. That’s what I’ll do. I will be in the nice, quiet hospital. Then after 2-3 days when they want to get rid of me, I’ll go off to Rehab at the Carlota where maybe I can play possum and stay a couple of weeks. I should have some peace and quiet there.”

 

“And little does she (Meli) know, I have been making arrangements for my “surgical” vacation the past several weeks, and all scheduling is in place. Marcie, her niece, is waiting in the wings to take over as Vice Warden to stay for duration of my away time.”

 

Now it’s Meli: “Uh huh, I fathomed that there was something afoot, but did not guess a knee. Next time, she can use a bunion, or something. There were secretive phone calls, but I wasn’t paying attention, I guess. The Warden was formulating her plan, and putting it in place, and I was oblivious. There were signs I should have spotted like the freezers seem to be more stuffed.”

 

Warden: “She keeps telling me I should go start writing at Tammy’s school because I have all these stories to tell when I was a kid growing up over in Morenci, AZ, a little copper mining town where my Dad, a full-blood Aztec Indian worked big machinery at the mine, and my Mom, of Spanish and Mexican descent, had a mini store at the house putting out home made masa for tortillas and tamales and other goodies. There are plenty of stories to tell, but I doubt that Ms M would like to hear stories about my side of being a Warden.”

 

The surgery is set for Wednesday, Oct. 22, so I can figure she will be going off to Costco to lay in supplies of food for Marcie and me. I am wondering just how many rotisserie cheekin she will be hauling home. Let’s see, she will be in hospital 2 or 3 nights, then over to the Carlota Rehab Center for a couple of weeks, hopefully. How many cheekin will we need, also how much asparagus, mushrooms, and artichoke hearts for the lentils we have for breakfast? Probably 3 cheekin will do it — she won’t be having us starve. The main thing is, she knows how lazy we are, and we don’t want to do a lot of cooking, so it’s all simple stuff. While she was in Arizona for last Christmas, we didn’t bother fixing fish for dinner like we were supposed to — cheekin and asparagus much easier to zap in Micro. You may wonder why there is never any mention of Prime Rib, or Rib Eye Steak, or the like. The Gout entered the scene several years ago, and here I am — one who was raised in a cattle and sheep raising family!

 

Another thing I was noticing the past week or so was that lentils seemed to be on the stove cooking away more often than usual, and I went along not thinking anything of it. I just thought the brain was screwing up like when I think it’s Wednesday, and it really is Friday, or I am in the wrong month.

 

Quick-acting forgetfulness.

 

Of course, Marcie and I can always get in the car to get a bite to eat. She has her driver’s license, and mine is still good till I’m 101. We could also take a spin to the hospital or Rehab to visit the Aztec Princess only to find a “NO VISITORS” sign posted on her door.

 

Oh well, that’s life in the slow lane. So, not to worry.

 

Alba, Aztec Princess, The Warden: (All wrapped up into one)   I jest. If you are feeling lonesome out there, we wouldn’t mind if you came home early. And while you’re at it have a nice operation. This is cheaper than a get well card. We love you. The M&M’s

 

 

 

MELITAS FORSTER                                       MONDAYS WITH MELITAS

 

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"Because of Tammy I have found confidence in my writing and feel blessed to be honored in such a way. I have found my voice. I have found freedom! I recommend anyone for whatever reason to expand their life and sign up for her writing workshops or classes. You'll be amazed at how good you are and how everyone has a story worth telling. Sign up and set your voice free!"
Wendy Price, Palm Desert, CA

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Amherst Writers & Artists

Tammy L. Coia is an AWA Affiliate, certified to lead workshops in the AWA method as described in Writing Alone & With Others by Pat Schneider, Oxford University Press.


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