IT’S TIME OCTOBER 28, 2013
It was just about ten years ago that I had to go over to El Paseo in Palm Desert to buy a new watch because, on the spur of a moment, I had yanked my old one off and gave it to an old friend, Virginia McKee, who didn’t have a time piece at the time. Besides, my “give-away” was already seven years old.
I’m talking Rolex. You no doubt have seen the commercials: Tiger has a huge one, Jack Nicklaus and Phil Michelson each have one, as well as Annika and Lorena — and that’s only in the golf world, just scratching the surface. These are EXPENSIVE clocks, and they have a sweep second hand that travels around on the face without making that jerk to the next second. If there is a jerk to each second then you would have a knock-off, so when you are in the jewelry store buying one of these, PAY ATTENTION.
What keeps these going so you don’t have to keep winding them are the movements of your body. There is no battery. Now I don’t know how this happens, but I did tell the Warden a few years ago, that if she looked at me and couldn’t tell if I was just asleep, or just unconscious, or whatever — she should look at the watch, and if that second hand was not moving, it might be that I had proceeded from this life and was travelling on my beeg vacation. (Remember, in another story I told you that in Botswana, they refer to it as being “late.” Well, it’s true, you are pretty much late to everything.)
“Movement” is the key word. Playing golf does wonders to keep things moving, or you could pull those handles on the slot machines to your hearts content — that would be very good, but you would probably have to have the watch on the pulling arm to be most effective. You can just devise your own method — what ever floats your canoe. Have fun.
Then, it started to happen: I noticed the second hand was not moving, I pinched myself, then immediately raced to see my good Doctor Civrna, who rushed me to a heart specialist at Eisenhower. It turned out the heart was just fine, and in fact when the Nurse doing the tests kept saying, “Boy, would I like to have THAT heart!” Which reminds me, I told her I would leave it to her on my demise, and I’ve got to see a lawyer to sign some papers so she can have that good old heart when I’m through with it.
It finally dawned on me what had been happening right under my nose — I was beginning to slow down. And how could that have happened? Well, just a few months before I was the Grand Marshal of the Swallows Day Parade in San Juan Capistrano, I slipped on the river rocks under my Mexican Lime tree (for the “somewhere it’s 5 o’clock” Tequila) and ended up with MRSA. It took 12 powerful pills to the tune of $1400 to bring me back to the land of the living — but it did slow me down, just thinking about the cost of those pills After that, I took that “Trip on the Nile Tile,” and that shut me down pretty good. (I enjoyed that caper with all those 9-1-1 hunks hovering about, before they hauled me off to the ER.) Then this recent trip to the floor in a DanaPoint motel room really put me out of commission and flat on my back with a cracked knee cap. So there hadn’t been much going on with my body movement for the past few years. No wonder the watch was struggling.
About six months ago, I took this watch over to Ralph, the jeweler, near Costco for its 10,000 mile service — and you don’t want to know what it took to foot that bill. I got it home, and it was losing all kinds of TIME. I couldn’t tell if it was 5 o’clock or not. I raced over to Ralph to probably start a big fracas with him when he very quietly, simply took the watch, unwound the stem, then wound the watch about ten times. He said that’s all I had to do EVERY DAY and it would keep perfect time. He added, very sheepishly, that I was not moving around like I used to!!!!
So here is what I decided is the moral to this little story.
Next time, get a Timex — they have batteries and huge numbers, the better to see it with, and they don’t care if you are alive or dead.
Tick, tick, tick.
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