This morning began earlier than usual…3:52 am was what the clock said. My dream this morning was vivid. I was a little girl of only about 6 or 7 and my dad was taking my brother, sister and me to the store. It was a normal routine for us. My dad was a weekend dad. He would pick us up on a Friday afternoon and bring us home on Sunday evening. This particular dream I was picking out a slinky toy (a dachshund, can you imagine??). My dad bought us each our toys that we picked out and we were heading home to our mom’s house. Even though we usually went back home with a new toy there was always a deep aching feeling in my heart of sadness of saying good-bye to my dad for another week. Isn’t it interesting that to this day I still get that same ache in my heart on Sunday evenings. A sense of sadness or loss. I didn’t think much more of my dream until I was heading to work when my mom called to tell me the sad news that my father died at 4 this morning. That deep feeling of sadness swept over my heart as though it were yesterday and I was that little girl saying good-bye to her daddy. Now I never get to say that good-bye that I so wanted to say. I know in my heart that he loved us the best that he could and when my mom remarried and we had a step-father he gracefully bowed out of our lives. When he moved away our weekends became no more with our dad, we would occasionally get to spend a week or two during the summer months with him, but the closeness we once had gradually became a distant memory.
I did have the opportunity to live with my father for the last portion of my 9th grade and all of my 10th grade year of high school. We were able to develop the relationship I had lost. My dad was a friend to all who knew him. I last saw my dad when my book first came out and I was in Seattle speaking. I had dinner with him that night and his wife, Lee. I will always remember my dad beaming with pride as he announced to every one near him, “This is my daughter and she just wrote a book!”
My heart is sad, but I choose to remember the dad that took his three small children with him everywhere those first few years after the divorce. For that I am forever grateful, thanks Dad.
The idea of “finding yourself” is such a cliche that I cringe to write about it. But, like most cliches, there is truth in it. Sometimes we are the greatest mystery to ourselves, which is a paradox since we spend our entire life in this body, with this soul. But it is easy to be externally focused-“Who needs my attention?” What do I need to do?” Instead of listening to the voice in us that is saying, “This is what I want. This is what I need.”
Today spend some time listening for those soft whispers of your soul…write what it is that your soul longs for and then go and do it!
We have all heard the expression, “it’s not what you say, but how you say it that matters most.” I believe the same is true in our writing. If we take the time to get in touch with the emotional charge (energy) that lies behind our thoughts, before they become words, putting ourselves in the other’s shoes, what comes out in our writing is loving and kind…(even if it is not pleasant to write about or to even speak about). When we aim or writing in this direction it is not so much about “winning” (I can’t say that word now without picturing Charlie Sheen!) but about creating a sacred space for you to write, communicate and share. Today make a conscious effort and intention to make yourself heard (either by the spoken or written word) in a manner that is nonthreatening, nonshaming and peaceful.
A WISE woman once said…There comes a time in life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. Surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad, and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don’t. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of LIFE, getting back up is LIVING~
(borrowed from Diane Mumm)
Thanks for sharing these wise words with me Annie, I wanted to share this with you all!
“People travel to wonder at the height of the mountains, at the huge waves of the seas, at the long course of the rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motion of the starts, and yet they pass by themselves without wondering.” St. Augustine
Where are you successful?
What gives you energy?
When do you feel at home?
What do you really want?
In his book Communion with God, Neale Donald Walsh writes, “Every act is an act of self-definition.” I think this is especially true in every act of creativity-including every page we create. Every choice-which photographs to use, where to start, which colors will work, knowing when a page is finished, and everything in between-is a self-defining experience. Writing can take you on a journey. A journey of self-discovery and connecting with your inner self.